Realization Pt. 1

I wish I could remember what safe felt like, looking back, safe was my mother's arms, my back yard, my bed, under the covers. Safe was my dad's voice, it was my family get togethers during christmas or thanksgiving. The older i get, the more i lose sense of comfort, and safety, the more i'm filled with worry, paranoia, and regrets. I lack confidence in not only myself but other human beings, what these deceitful people are capable of, what i watch on the news, how realistic pain is portrayed, aggression, insanity. This world will be brought down to its knees, we will be a nation of locked doors, hidden behind steel bar windows. Sad thing is, there are some that crave fear, not within themselves, but within others, they feel like a God, because of how mysterious this man is, His role on hate, and how his followers can justify it with no more proof than a handful of papers, scribbled with words deeper than our own intellect. I wish i could remember where i last left off truly happy, without second thoughts, or treason of my own mind, sometimes i feel like my brain is my biggest support, and at other times, i feel like i'm trapped so far down into it, that my subconscious dreams are just as bad as the reality of things. This may sound the most morbid, depressing and unproductive, but it's relatable, everyone will read this and relate to it on some level, and the truth of things, is you're me, i am you, brought up in different situations, but we are humans, and that's all we will ever be in the big picture, no labels can change that, just ignorance, that we let man create our "real" we let man create our "destiny" and for that, we can only sit back and watch our own destruction.